Maybe Tomorrow Will Be Better-- Can I Call You Then?

Just to make sure I don't get confused again: I do know this was the right time to do this. I know it had to be done, for me, and for him. I remember having a gut feeling about it last weekend. I remember suddenly knowing this was the way it was going to have to end-- at least for right now. He has to know what he wants, and I have to say what I need. I keep thinking I was wrong, and silly, and selfish. That may be true, but one thing I do know, or am growing to know more, is that I am worth coming after. I am worth working for. I am, thanks be to God. Lord, I need patience, and he needs a healed heart. Can You give us those things?

Song of the day: "Colder Weather" by the Zac Brown Band

There's More That Rises in the Morning Than the Sun

I am not a servant to you, figuring out what my job is for the day. I am a daughter, and a sister, and you are my brothers, the ones I make fun of, and ask to feed the dogs, and fight with, and know love me. And You are my Father.

Song of the day: "If I Stand" by Rich Mullins

I Don't Know Where You Are, and I Don't Know How You're Sleeping

I am going to practice only remembering the good things you said. I hate that my mind gets stuck on the things I don't fully understand. Stuck like that absurd boulder in 127 Hours, trapping my own ability to be free from myself. I guess it's time to saw my arm off.

You said you click with me, and you said you don't usually click with people, or even like people. You said that was significant to you. You said you don't want me to pull away or distance myself or run screaming in the other direction. You said I can bring up anything I want to, and I don't have to think about it so hard-- I should just bring it up. You said you're an open book and I can ask you anything. You said you're not with me because you feel obligated to be. You always ask me what I'm thinking about. You notice when I'm quiet, and you bring it up. You are a tremendous human being. And you want to be with me. Well I want to be with you too. Maybe you're even as insecure as I am sometimes.

Song of the day: "Wounds of Love" by Rich Mullins