How I've Proved Him O'er and O'er

I just wanted to remember that today, when I feel so anxious and on edge that the ribs around my heart will not stop aching and the muscles in my neck have forgotten how to stop contracting, my patient told me that "it's so relaxed in here," referring to my office. Lord! I am so thankful that it is YOU who touch these patients and not ME. It is YOUR presence they remember, not mine. Help me to trust You more.

Song of the day: "'Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus" by Louisa Stead

I Can't Think of a Song

How odd. I don't think that's happened in the life of this blog before.

I read a Wall Street Journal article last night called "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?" It was so sad, I thought I would cry at the end. Do men really feel like they have no role in society? They aren't the only hunter/gatherers any more, and they rarely have to run any gauntlet to prove to themselves and the world that they are worthy of manhood. As a woman, I know what it's like to feel loneliness, and powerlessness even, but I've never known the feeling of pointlessness. I would probably avoid thinking about it via beer and video games too. But the strange thing is that as hard as I try to function in such as way as prevents me from ever needing anyone (most certainly any man), this article made me realize that men ARE needed. They are NEEDED. I can pay my mortgage. I can buy my own groceries. I can travel wherever I want to go. When there's a spider hanging from my living room ceiling, I kill it because I HAVE to, and I HATE that. I need a man to kill the bugs that get into my house! I need a man to figure out why the pipes in the shower are making weird noises. I need a man to tell me what I need to tune up on my car. I need a man to take me out to dinner, and buy me presents. Of course I can afford dinner and presents, but I am unable to take myself out. I need a man to tell me when I'm being irrational. The very essence of irrational thinking is that a person doesn't know when it's happening! And I need a man to point it out. I need a man to tell me when I do something right, because I don't always know. I do need a man. And that's more liberating to my feminity than anything else has been.

You Are My Only Hope

We are studying the Psalms of Assent in Bible study. I woke up with this song in my head. I don't feel good today. I can't sleep when I'm coughing all night. It's strange that I don't feel despair like I sometimes do when I feel so physically sick that I don't want to be at work and don't want to pick my head up off the pillow. Lord, I'm thankful for that. You have sustained me and do sustain me today. When I want someone to take care of me, make me want You before anything else. When I feel sick and want someone to look out for me, make me remember that You look out for me, and You're far more capable of looking out for all the different angles than anyone else.

Song of the day: "I Lift My Eyes Up (Psalm 121)" by Brian Doerksen