Hopes Like Summer Roses

Song of the day: "Oh Heart Bereaved and Lonely" by Fanny Crosby

I'm Done

Here's what I heard last night: "the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." Then I heard that that means I am not a substance to be used and discarded once its purpose is fulfilled, like a paper towel, or the scrubbed-down end of a pencil eraser. I remember deciding in World History class, 9th grade, that I would consistently fulfill the empty "listener" slot in the lives of my friends, and at some point that expanded to the slots of anyone with whom I came into contact. All people are desperate to be heard, I learned. Now it's no longer a deliberate choice of mine but an involuntary activity, the autonomic nervous system causing me to breathe, and to blink, and to regulate my blood pressure. Okay. Well at least now I know it. So what is there to replace the seemingly faulty belief that I am nothing but potential energy, a purpose waiting to be fulfilled, and useless after this? How can I consciously alter my blood pressure? I know that God loves me. And now I exist to enjoy that.

Song of the day: "Farewell" by Rosie Thomas