I Can Hear The Ringing of a Beat Up Old Guitar

Kari said last night at Sarah's going-away party that this is my time to figure out what I want in life. Amanda said it's a margin of space in my life that the Lord has created for a purpose. All I can think of right now is how I'll rearrange Sarah's room so it doesn't look like she's coming back tomorrow.

I can just see me and the dogs, wandering around the house and anxiously awaiting her return. I remember when I had my own life here. It wasn't that long ago really. And I'm not afraid of being alone. I sleep in a dark house the same as an occupied one. It's the being left behind that's so hard to bear. I love my sister. I'd rather go to Holland House with her than anywhere with anyone else. I'll miss her so much, and I'll see her when she gets back. But it's like I feel like something should happen in my life while she's gone. I can't stand the idea that I'm frozen, pacing in a holding pattern, while the rest of the world goes to Tajikistan, or New York City, or the movies on a Friday night.

Song of the day: "Even If It Breaks Your Heart" by the Eli Young Band