I know I'm adjusting to a new work environment when I've chosen my preferred bathroom stall.
Familiarity.
Song of the day: "Gotta Have You" by the Weepies
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Bring Your Love to Life Inside of Me
I'm in my new office. My new Psych NP office. Well, "office" is a strong word. It's sort of an exam-room-turned-office. I have a sink and everything.
Things are so different here. I've been so very stressed and anxious, even though every day is laid-back and slow-paced. And last night I realized that that must be the problem. I feel like I'm not DOING anything. My day is not packed so full that I have no time to eat or think or let alone pee. I see a handful of people each day, and have written maybe one or two prescriptions. I feel like I'm cheating. I feel like I'm making more money to do less work. I feel like the people working SO hard and feeling SO frazzled out in the community mental health world are struggling along while I sit like a fat cat in my various locations waiting for people to come and see me. Oh Lord, please, use me in this position. Help me to change my perspective, to see that my purpose is not in being BUSY but in being EFFECTIVE for Your Kingdom. My purpose is in showing deep, unconditional love to those who have never or rarely received it. And my purpose in this particular place is using the skills I have learned and the insight and knowledge You have given me to identify deeper psychiatric issues that may require medical intervention.
I cannot evaluate my work based on numbers. That is what I hated about Centerstone! These are people, not billing encounters. They need to be allowed as much time as is necessary to bring healing to their hearts and minds. I am here because these places need me here. I am here to be available when someone needs me. I am not here to be another factory worker, churning patients through like chocolates on the Lucy-and-Ethel conveyer belt. This is what it actually feels like to be available to help people.
And I can wash my hands between patients.
Song of the day: "Love Come to Life" by Big Daddy Weave
Things are so different here. I've been so very stressed and anxious, even though every day is laid-back and slow-paced. And last night I realized that that must be the problem. I feel like I'm not DOING anything. My day is not packed so full that I have no time to eat or think or let alone pee. I see a handful of people each day, and have written maybe one or two prescriptions. I feel like I'm cheating. I feel like I'm making more money to do less work. I feel like the people working SO hard and feeling SO frazzled out in the community mental health world are struggling along while I sit like a fat cat in my various locations waiting for people to come and see me. Oh Lord, please, use me in this position. Help me to change my perspective, to see that my purpose is not in being BUSY but in being EFFECTIVE for Your Kingdom. My purpose is in showing deep, unconditional love to those who have never or rarely received it. And my purpose in this particular place is using the skills I have learned and the insight and knowledge You have given me to identify deeper psychiatric issues that may require medical intervention.
I cannot evaluate my work based on numbers. That is what I hated about Centerstone! These are people, not billing encounters. They need to be allowed as much time as is necessary to bring healing to their hearts and minds. I am here because these places need me here. I am here to be available when someone needs me. I am not here to be another factory worker, churning patients through like chocolates on the Lucy-and-Ethel conveyer belt. This is what it actually feels like to be available to help people.
And I can wash my hands between patients.
Song of the day: "Love Come to Life" by Big Daddy Weave
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